BABY DADDY CUT OF OUR DAUGHTER’S FINGER FOR AN EVIL RITUAL

A Concerned Friend’s Reflection: When “Tradition” Is Used Without Consent is a concern.

Heartbroken mama here 💔 — or rather, a concerned friend who is close to both parents and struggling to make sense of something deeply troubling.

A little girl recently went to visit her father, as many children do. What was meant to be a normal parental visit turned into a shock when she returned home having been “initiated” into a so-called tradition — one that involved cutting her finger 🩸.

What makes this even harder to process is not only the act itself, but the silence around it. Her mother was never informed. No call. No discussion. No warning. Just a child returned home altered, physically and emotionally, by a decision made without her primary caregiver’s knowledge or consent 🤯.

The father is Xhosa and has since framed the incident as “culture” or “tradition.” But this explanation raises more questions than it answers.

He is married. He has other children. None of those children — including those raised within his marital home — have ever had their fingers cut. So why this child? Why now?

This is the same child whose paternity he denied for years, only acknowledging her after a DNA test forced the truth. That history cannot be ignored. When someone resists responsibility for so long, it becomes difficult not to question their intentions later on.

What further unsettles those close to the situation are past patterns that, while explained away by him as personal coping mechanisms, feel deeply disturbing to outsiders. He has reportedly claimed that when women he impregnated suffered miscarriages, he requested blood from those miscarriages to bury — saying it gave him “closure.” Whether one accepts that explanation or not, it understandably leaves people uneasy.

So when a child returns from a visit having been cut, without her mother’s consent, people will ask questions. Painful questions. Necessary questions.

If this was truly a cultural rite, why were his other children excluded? Why was the mother kept in the dark? Why did it happen at a time when his personal and financial circumstances are reportedly not going well?

Some fear — and this is fear, not fact — that the child may have been used for something far more troubling than “tradition.” In many communities, there is a fine line between culture and exploitation, and history has taught us that children are often the ones who pay the price when adults blur that line.

This is not about attacking culture. Culture deserves respect when practiced responsibly, transparently, and with consent from all guardians involved. This is about protecting a child who cannot consent for herself.

Above all, it is about one undeniable truth: no parent should ever be blindsided when their child is subjected to a permanent physical act. Not in the name of tradition. Not in secrecy. Not ever.

This little girl deserves safety, clarity, and adults who put her wellbeing above pride, secrecy, or unresolved personal issues. And her mother deserves honesty.

Sometimes, asking questions is not disrespect.
Sometimes, it is the only way to protect the innocent. 💔