The Pregnancies That Took My Family
I have been carrying a secret that is destroying me slowly. People in my village still talk about the strange things that happened at the hospital whenever I went into labour. They talk about how the nurses cried, how the doctors were confused, and how I would push with all my strength only to give birth to nothing. They do not know the full truth. No one does. So today, I want to confess everything.
My story began the day I decided to look for riches in the dark world. I was tired of poverty and watching my family suffer. Someone told me about a ritual at the river, a ritual that would tie my womb to a snake spirit that gives money for nine months. They said the snake would “sleep” inside my womb and bring wealth. After nine months I would have to “give birth,” but it would not be a normal child.
I ignored all the signs that this was wrong. At the river, they tied a cloth around my stomach so tightly that I felt like my skin was burning. They told me that I was now spiritually married to the snake. They gave me blood from some animal to drink, and I still do not know what animal it was. They smeared me from head to toe with muti that smelled like death itself. I wanted the money, so I accepted everything without asking questions.
The money came quickly. My life changed. My whole family started living better. But nine months later, my stomach grew like any pregnant woman’s. I felt movement. I felt kicks. I felt everything real mothers feel. When the time came, I went into labour like a normal woman. But when I pushed, nothing came out except a strong, cold wind. The nurses ran out screaming. The doctors were shaking and confused. And that same night, my grandmother died. I told myself it was a coincidence.
The second time it happened, the same thing repeated. The money came. My stomach grew. I went into labour. I pushed and pushed until that cold wind came out of me again. That night, my grandfather died. That was when fear began to grow inside me, but it was already too late. I was tied to something I could no longer run away from.
The third time destroyed me completely. I went through nine months of fake kicks and fake movement again. When I went into labour, I already knew what was coming. The cold wind left my body, leaving me shaking. Later that night, my father died. Three pregnancies. Three “births.” Three deaths in my family. And I am the only one who knows the truth: every time I give birth to nothing, someone I love dies.
Yes, the money made life easier for us. But how do you enjoy money when you keep losing those you love? I live every day with fear. Fear of getting pregnant again. Fear of who will die next. Fear of the spirit that sleeps inside my womb. I thought riches would save us. Instead, they have destroyed us.
The Snake Spirit Came for Me”
After my father died, I tried to pretend everything was normal, but I knew something inside me had changed. I could no longer sleep peacefully. I started hearing things at night — soft movements under my bed, like something sliding on the floor. Sometimes I felt pressure on my stomach as if something was lying on top of me. I tried to convince myself it was stress, but deep down I knew the snake spirit was reminding me that our deal wasn’t over.
One night, around midnight, I woke up with a heavy feeling in my chest. The room was freezing cold, and I felt a presence standing near my bed. At first, I thought it was my imagination. But then I heard something breathing slowly, softly, almost like hissing. I could not see anything, but I felt it. It was the same energy that came out of me in the hospital during my “deliveries.”
A voice whispered in my ear — not in words, but in feelings. It reminded me of the deal: the wealth comes with a price, and the price must be paid every nine months. It reminded me that I am spiritually tied to the river, that I am married to something I cannot touch or see. It reminded me that I promised loyalty, and loyalty must be shown.
I went to a traditional healer to seek help, but before I could even explain my story, she told me to leave. She said there were some spirits that could not be washed away because they were tied through marriage. She told me, “You did not just ask for money; you gave your womb.” She refused to help me, and that is when I realized I was truly alone.
As the next nine months approached, I started noticing the signs. My stomach began to grow again even though I had not been with any man. The kicks started again. The fake movements returned. I knew what was coming, but this time the fear is worse because I don’t know who the spirit will take next. I stopped visiting my family. I stopped sleeping in the same house with anyone. I isolated myself because I am terrified that the next birth might take someone else I love.
People in the village think I’m going mad. They think I’m hiding a shameful secret child. They think I’m cursed. They have no idea that I’m actually trying to save them from death itself.
Every night I pray for the strength to break this marriage with the dark world, but I don’t know how. I don’t know if it’s even possible. I fear the next “birth.” I fear the next funeral. I fear what I have become.
I wanted money.
Instead, I became a doorway for death.
And now my womb is counting down to the next sacrifice.
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